Ernest Alba's Blog : General

The War in Iraq

eialba — Fri, 03 Nov 2006 05:46:00 GMT

There is no doubt that this war is unpopular. Most polls conducted in the past couple of weeks have found that only 30-35% of voters approve of the handling of Iraq. Many people believe it was a mistake. I am one of them. Kerry highlighted in a speech on a college campus a few days ago one of the worst things about going to war in America. Because the army recruits on a volunteer basis, many of the people that enlist are poor, uneducated minorities. For some reason, he's getting a lot of flak for pointing that out. Critics are outraged that he is calling our troops dumb. As if being uneducated means you're stupid.

My cousin is a year older than me. I grew up with him, and I consider him to be a boy. He's not a man. Yet, due to many circumstances outside of his control, he was forced to grow up quickly. Still a teenager, the only work he found was at a construction company doing back-breaking physical labor outside in the worst of Texas heat. There's no way he could have lasted very long there. It came as no surprise, then, that this summer he broke the news to me that he was enlisting in the Army. He figured it was the best way for him to get the money to pay for an education and get out of the rut people often fall into when they don't/can't continue their education after high school. For me, it's especially heart-breaking to see him go because I've seen his potential.

We went to the same high school. He was a bright, intelligent person. He took AP classes and excelled in them. He was a Photoshop expert and a whiz in mechanics. That some politicians got it in their heads to send boys and girls like him to the other side of the world to die for their bullshit is enough to make me cry. It pisses me off fiercely. How was the resolution to go to war ever passed through Congress? How could Democrats have supported this war?

There is only one noble aspect to our presence in Iraq, removing Hussein. He killed thousands upon thousands of innocent people, and no one should have the power to do that. After all the other excuses for going fell through, stopped making sense once we learned that Hussein was not helping terrorists, he wasn't developing WMDs, and we weren't being greeted as liberators, that sole reason remained as our comfort. It was our JUSTIFICATION. Well, it turns out that we've caused way more terror than we were prepared to handle. Islamic fundamentalist terrorism is now resurging. We've also caused Iraqi citizens terror, pain, and misery. A recent, widely reported MIT funded survey put the death toll in Iraq at more than 600,000. This bullshit has to stop. How can a President not show complete remorse? How can he not be crying as he answers the question, "How many are dead in Iraq?" He was asked that question just a couple of months ago. His response was, "Um...thirty thousand, more or less." I can't believe he's so callous. There is no single issue I think more about than the fact that we've made one of the biggest mistakes in American history. Perhaps I'm looking at this through the lense of someone who has only lived here for 20 years. But my life changed completely on September 11th. I realized I was a part of a human family. And I had a responsibility to care for it. Along with everyone else who lives here with me. And we have not been taking care of each other. We've been looking out for ourselves. We must be more careful in the future, before ever considering actions that could lead to violence. And war is never a solution. Because it doesn't lead to violence, it is violence. Therefore, when we choose to engage in war, we've already lost.

The Pressure Applied

eialba — Sun, 05 Mar 2006 14:27:00 GMT

MIT has a dubious distinction among colleges. We have the highest rate of suicide of any college in the U.S. In the decade spanning from 1990 to 1999, there were ten suicides, one for each year. In 2000, Elizabeth Shin set herself on fire, spurring a greater commitment by MIT to ensure that its health services are capable of helping MIT students. The suicidal trend continues, however. Indeed, a grad student was found dead in his apartment last Tuesday by his girlfriend. Though the cause of death has not been released to the public, it has been speculated that the cause of death was suicide. Another MIT grad student was found dead in his apartment on the exact same day last year.

Why would students at MIT want to kill themselves? In general, it seems that there is enormous pressure for the average MIT student. For the above average MIT student, the pressure must be much more incredible. I consider myself an average MIT student. I take the normal courseload, consisting of mostly regular classes and then, perhaps, an intensive course now and then. I'm involved in one or two extracurricular activities. Even with this average amount of work, there are some weeks when I have no spare time. I rush from one place to another to complete one task before moving onto another. This past week was the worst one since I've been here. At one point, on Thursday afternoon, I had to calculate my schedule down to the minute. I really had to think to myself, "Do I have time to go to the bathroom?" "Do I have time to eat a bowl of cereal after my sandwich?" By the time Friday evening came around, I had finished everything that was supposed to be done that week, but I was tired and at my wit's end. I spent that night at LSC's presentation of Proof with Jose, Hugo, and Hector.

Watching movies is usually relaxing, and since I'd seen Proof before, I expected to be relaxed while I enjoyed the show. Not so. Proof is about many things, but, in particular, it is about the pressure to do valuable research. At one point, the main character completely describes the life of a typical graduate student. It's not a pretty picture. That made me think, it must be horrible to spend so many years working and working, being stressed and hurried all the time, and all that time knowing deep inside that you will not make the significant contibution you wish desperately to make. It's no wonder some people want it to stop, and the way they find to stop it is to kill themselves.

That realization can lead to serious depression. Moreover, the atmosphere in which that realization takes place is already strenuous. The daily and weekly routines of MIT students can become overwhelming. If you aren't careful, they can make you question your sanity. There needs to be time off, release, relaxation. I suppose that is what weekends are for, but sometimes they aren't enough. To continue with my previous example of this past week, I finally arrived at this weekend and found time to relax. Friday night I did absolutely nothing constructive, and it felt great. But Saturday morning I woke up and started thinking about this coming week. I started remembering what I had to do. I had a major physics exam. I had a six page paper due. I had an i3 video due. I had a math pset due. I had Japanese quizzes and daily performance evaluations. The coming week was going to be harder than the previous one. And I realized, this weekend isn't enough. In fact, what the heck am I doing typing this post and wasting thirty or forty perfectly good minutes? I'm outta here.

Kidding. I've got time. Not a lot, but enough to write this down. MIT life can be dangerous for people prone to emotional instability. I can't say that I've ever been emotionally unstable. It's just not my style. And I'm healthily scared enough of death to do everything in my power to make sure it doesn't get me until it absolutely says I must go. So no jumping off of buildings, as that is detrimental to my health. But I rue the day, and I know it will come, when I have to hear the horrible news of someone who didn't care that much about his or her health and jumped off Building 54.

Comments will be back

eialba — Wed, 01 Mar 2006 16:59:00 GMT

The few comments I get are important to me because I love hearing feedback. I've recently obtained the removed comments and will try my best to put them back up. We'll see how that goes....

Apology Retracted

eialba — Wed, 22 Feb 2006 08:51:00 GMT

After a writer finishes an essay and publishes it, the essay is no longer hers. It belongs to the reader. It is the reader's burden to interpret the essay using her skills as a reader. In the case of a review I wrote for "House of Wax," I did what no author should do - I apologized for the essay. I apologized for the words. I apologized for not making my points clear. In that respect, I failed as a writer. I did not, however, fail to write the review I intended to write. I have, several weeks later, reread my review. It is perfect as it is. I would not have written it any other way. Period.

Spanish House Website

eialba — Mon, 20 Feb 2006 06:02:00 GMT

Exciting news! The Spanish House website is now up and running! Same old link, brand new style!

http://web.mit.edu/la_casa/www

What is Spanish House? Spanish House is a community within New House, a dormitory at MIT. We are composed of about 30 freshmen through seniors, all who live in Spanish House. We have social members that go to Spanish House events, attend Spanish House dinners, and are even Spanish House officers. Social members are fully a part of Spanish House, except they don't live in Spanish House. Some may simply like living in another dorm more, but at the same time enjoy the company of Spanish House members more. Does it seem like I'm saying Spanish House an awful lot? There's a reason...can you guess why?

mit presents: the Vagina monologues

eialba — Sun, 19 Feb 2006 05:23:00 GMT

On a bitterly cold but clear night in Cambridge, Daneaya, Hugo, Jose, Andrea, Adrian, and I took a cab from the overrated Pourhouse to a vagina monologue. Most Americans with ties to pop culture will probably be atleast familiar with the term "vagina monologues." Many, including me until now, didn't know what that exactly meant or entailed. Are we actually going to see vaginas? Girls wearing revealing clothing but without actually exposing.....? A boring lecture about practicing safe sex? A humiliating and condescending lecture about not treating women like sexual objects? What exactly is a vagina monologue?

Vagina monologues are true stories about women told by an array of other women in the first person. That is, an actress plays the part of the woman telling her own story to the audience. These stories can be tragic or comedic, intense or light-hearted. Some include men, good and bad; all include women, good and bad. These stories are told through the vagina. One of my favorites was a story called "The Little Coochi Snorcher That Could" told by Jenn D'Ascoli. It's the story of a young Southern girl who began exploring her vagina, but had the misfortune of being seen by her mom, who told her never to touch it. And she got so scared that she never did touch it, even though sometimes she really felt like touching it. One day, as a teenager, she met a glamorous lady who dressed very nicely, had a car, and an important job - a secretary. They became fast friends, and the lady eventually invited the girl to her apartment. At the apartment, the lady began to make sexual advances on the girl, and the girl only managed to make out a little bit before having an orgasm. The lady poured herself a vodka, and the girl asked for the same. The lady hesitated, but agreed after the girl lightly threatened to tell her mom about their sexual encounter. Looser now, they proceeded to play with each other, and the lady taught the girl lessons about her body that she sorely wanted and needed. In that evening, the girl was transformed from a girl ashamed of her sexuality into a woman proud of her sexual identity.

These stories are powerful. They are well-written and captivating. Unfortunately, they are ill-served by the women acting them out. These women are students at MIT, few if none with formal training in acting. This lack of believability strains our patience as an audience. They seem to be trying too hard at times. The "southern" belle in the story above lost her accent about midway through the story. I let it go, but I noticed it immediately. During the truly poignant and saddening stories about genital mutilation, rape, incest, and other horrible acts, we especially notice the poor acting abilities of these girls. They are trying to be good, but they simply aren't. The stories suffer because they no longer seem believable. Perhaps Eve Ensler, the creator of the Vagina Monologues, foresaw this, and, therefore, did a truly smart thing. All of the actresses carry notecards onstage. It's not because they can't remember lines; it is to remind the audiences that these are real women's stories - not theater. To be sure, there were a couple of powerful performances, but in general, the material would be much better served by professionals. Nevertheless, I learned a great deal about women.

The entire event took approximately two and a half hours. At ten thirty, we began walking home, all the while an angry wind biting our severely chapped skin. Minutes later, I walked into my room and turned on the TV. The news said that, with the wind chill, the temperature was 2 below.

Not lately

eialba — Wed, 08 Feb 2006 05:32:00 GMT

I haven't been posting lately with good reason. I've been busier than I've been in a while. I took a last minute job back home and hung out with my friends and family as much as I could before I went back. Now I'm back and so excited about the new semester. More later.

Addendum: Morgan Webb

eialba — Mon, 16 Jan 2006 01:56:00 GMT

For your viewing pleasure, my favorite pictures of the beautiful Morgan Webb.

Morgan Webb - This girl has game

eialba — Sat, 14 Jan 2006 01:07:00 GMT

So, I have a new crush. Since finding out that X-Play is FREE on iTunes and updated weekly, I've been addicted to their reviews of games. But more than that, I'm addicted to the precious few seconds of screen time given to Morgan Webb, the foinest video game geek since Cat Schwartz. Imagine my surprise (not) when she beat out Cat Schwartz in a Playboy poll asking subscribers who they would most like to see naked. I totally agree. See for yourself. (above)

LONGHORN FOOTBALL

eialba — Thu, 05 Jan 2006 05:50:00 GMT

HOW BOUT DEM LONGHORNS!!!!!

As you may know by now, unless you've been living under a rock, the Texas Longhorns pulled off a big upset win against the mighty old USC Trojans. A 41-38 win, to be precise. And boy was it an exciting game. It is the reason, the very reason, I quit watching football a long time ago. Some might not understand the amount of emotion that fans pour into every game their team plays. And when you have games like this, games that are the reason they played all those other games, well, you might begin to understand how emotionally charged this game was. In the last two minutes of this game, I could not stop shaking. I hadn't been this bad since John Elway and the Broncos won the Super Bowl. That time I cried. This time I didn't. When that pass flew over the receivers head and I read the 0:00 on the clock and the Longhorn team started pouring out onto the field, I leapt into the air and gave a shout. Inside, I was bursting with joy. The reason I didn't cry during this game, I suppose, was because in the Super Bowl game, Elway had been retiring and he needed that ring. And he got it. Well-deserved. In this UT vs. USC game, there was less personal involvement. It was more the UT program against the USC program. But I can't handle this emotion, especially when it's over football teams. It's just too exhausting. And when it doesn't pay off, it's devastating. Imagine if the Longhorns had lost! But they didn't.

P.S. Vince Young is incredible, invinceable, and impossible to deny. Without a doubt, without him, the Longhorns would have lost.

Shocked and Amazed

eialba — Fri, 23 Dec 2005 01:19:00 GMT

Right around this time, one year ago, I was shocked and amazed to receive an envelope with my name on it and an MIT acceptance letter inside. That feeling of elation has not been matched - until now. I admit that I've struggled like a dumb animal through first year chemistry, struggling to get decent grades. And at the beginning, I failed miserably. I won't say what grades I got, but let's say that on my first test, I'd have been able to count the number of people who got a lower score than me on two hands. My grades steadily improved, but not by much in comparison to the rest of the class. Of the three exams we took before the final, I only passed the last one. As the final loomed nearer and nearer, I knew I was at a crisis. I was failing, and the only thing that would save me is an exceptional score on the final. Not just passing, but doing well. For five days, five horrible days, I studied and studied. The day of the final finally came - and it took me by surprise. The first part of the test eased you into the material, pretty easy. About halfway through, I was coasting along through the test, hitting a few bumps, sure, but in general keeping the pace (and breathing sighs of relief), when out of nowhere BAM. I ran headlong into a brick wall. An enormous, impossible, gigantic 46 point problem stopped me cold. While the 10, 15, 20 point problems had gone down like wimps, one right after the other, this 46 point heavyweight wouldn't budge. I just couldn't solve it. I put down what little I knew about the topic, and bitterly moved on, knowing that I'd taken a big hit. The problems afterwards, though not as hard, only slowed me down even further. I stumbled through them, cold fear running up and down my back, knowing my chances of passing this class were fastly dwindling. I finally hit the end and with the time left, backpedaled, trying to fill in or fix anything I could find that I might have the expertise to add or change. But the fight was over. And I knew, I knew that I had lost.

Imagine my complete shock and utter amazement when I checked my grade a few minutes ago and saw that I passed the class. I passed! Miracles do happen! This is perhaps the greatest undeserved gift I've gotten since that fateful day last year. Though Daneaya's constant selfless giving puts up a huge fight.

Finals

eialba — Tue, 20 Dec 2005 11:07:00 GMT

Chem - done. Japanese - done. Calculus and Physics - within 30 hours.

Update: No Updates

eialba — Wed, 07 Dec 2005 21:17:00 GMT

I haven't been updating lately. Finals coming up and I'm spending more time studying. But I have a lot of good stuff that I've been wanting to put down. I'm also working on something really interesting with another MIT student - an unsolved mystery of sorts. More later.

Greenspan must be very excited

eialba — Fri, 02 Dec 2005 18:09:00 GMT

London (AP) - Britain's Treasury chief Gordon Brown paid tribute Friday to outgoing U.S. Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan, saying he had served his country and the world with distinction.

In recognition of his 18 years at the helm of the U.S. central bank, Greenspan was granted the Freedom of the City of London -- a symbolic honor dating back to medieval times which bestowed the right to drive sheep across London Bridge and be hanged with a silken cord if handed the death penalty.

What basic creatures we are

eialba — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 09:45:00 GMT

There's a discrepancy between what we like and what we know we should like. It becomes painfully obvious when looking through Yahoo's News in Pictures. You can put the pictures in many different orderings, but in particular you can put them in order of most viewed and in order of most highly rated. If you put them in order of most viewed, most of them are news articles about barely clothed women. If you put them in order of most highly rated, you get pictures of zoo animals. How sad, we can't deny who we are. We love and can't stop thinking about sex, and it shows in everything we do. Even reading the evening news.

The worst thing is that we acknowledge that we are like that to ourselves, but when it comes to sharing that with others, we don't. We hide our shame and guilt. Similar to Adam and Eve. What shame our bodies carry with them! We must keep our sinful business to ourselves. That is why if you order the pictures according to most e-mailed, you once again get mostly animal pictures. If you're going to be sexual, admit it to yourself and to the world. Liberate yourself. Express your sexuality! Don't hide it; it's not shameful business.