Ernest Alba's Blog

Film Review: Apocalypto

It was a bitterly cold afternoon, the first of the winter. The wind was blowing tiny flecks of snow into my face as I felt my nose turning a bright, numb red. As soon as we opened the door to the theater, a rush of warm, recycled air melted the ice instantly. All that remained was the watery residue of those tiny, icy daggers. Though my body felt instant relief and the memory of the bitter cold started fading almost immediately, there lingered in the corner of my mind the faint remembrance of the long, cold journey from MIT to Kendall Square Cinema.
...
As I paid for my ticket, debated getting popcorn (no), and filed into my seat, I still felt the aftershock of that cold night air. But ten minutes into Apocalypto, I was no longer in a theater in Cambridge with a cold wind howling outside - no, I was far away in the steamy jungles of pre-Columbian Mexico, basking in tropical sunlight with the people who very well could have been my direct ancestors. I was watching men hunting a wild boar, naked children playing with the other little critters that run around the jungle floor, and women nursing infants. The main character, a strong, resourceful young man who eventually names himself "Jaguar Paw," lives with his expecting partner, a beautiful, smart, and courageous girl named Seven, his son Turtles Run, and his dad Flint Sky in a small village under the protection of the immensely tall tree tops and dense jungle swaths that offers a wonderful atmosphere of tranquility. That night, there is a story-telling and a dance. Jaguar Paw lays quietly on Seven's lap, listening to the kicks of his unborn son. These first minutes of the film are my favorite. This is what I wanted to see - a glimpse of a people's culture that is rapidly being extinguished. These people that we meet in the first minutes of the film, however, are not the Maya people that we think of when we think of the Maya civilization. These people know nothing of the magnificent temples and pyramids built by the sweat and hard labor of the thousands of peasants that lived in the vast cities of ancient Mexico.

The next morning, a group of warriors comes into the village and kills several of the men, women, and children, razes the village, and binds the survivors. Jaguar Paw manages to lower his wife and son into a small but deep underground cavern before he is captured. The warriors march the captives through the jungle on the way to one of the large Mayan cities. It becomes clear that Jaguar Paw must escape somehow and rescue his wife and daughter before it rains and the cavern floods or they die of thirst. Through his journey, we are allowed to explore the surroundings and the people that made up this epic but little understood civilization. According to many sources, including Mel Gibson, this movie is quite accurate, as they consulted several history books to ensure historical accuracy.

Though some scenes in this movie allow a detailed look at the fascinating Maya culture, Apocalypto is not a historical epic or a docudrama. It is a chase movie set against an historic backdrop. It is possible that this movie will disappoint you if you are looking for something that might more appropriately be shown on The Discovery Channel. Jose and I quickly realized (he more quickly) that we weren't going to get what we were expecting. Barring that disappointment, this film is a greatly paced and involving thriller. I'm relieved that it is not nearly so violent and graphic as Passion of the Christ. The violence is stomachable, though parts of it are extremely graphic and brutal. Examples include a jaguar ripping a man's face off and a heart being removed while the victim watches it being removed from his chest. The sets are beautifully designed, especially the Mayan city. The actors are quite convincing; several are native Mayas that live in Mexico. I'm glad that Gibson has them speaking in Maya. I've long been an advocate of having characters from other countries speak in their corresponding languages not speak English in an accent from their respective countries. It's one of the reasons I disliked Memoirs of a Geisha. Having to sit through Chinese actresses struggling to speak English with Japanese accents was beyond tedious. I'd much rather read subtitles, like I did during Apocalypto.
....
The unkind memory that had been tucked into the farthest recess of my mind jumped into the front once again as I exited the room, rounded the corner, and saw through the window the bare, brown twigs of the poor trees stiffly moving in the wind. The journey back was going to be just as long and cold.

Film Review: The Nightmare Before Christmas (in 3-D!)

I'm excited. After taking a long break from writing film reviews, I've begun writing again. Why did I stop? Because I hadn't seen any new movies lately. Really. That seems odd to me, considering that for the longest time, I'd watched at least one new film per week. For the past two months or so, I haven't seen any new films. And this review isn't even about a new film. It's about a well-established classic film that is being re-released in theaters across America in 3-D animation. Soon enough though, I'll get back in the habit (Saw 3 comes out Friday!) Anyway, despite the fact that I'm reviewing an old film, it's good to come back to writing reviews. My past several posts have been political in nature, and I'm tired of politics. It's time for a rest. Though mid-terms are coming up. Bah. It seems I've also written about music recently. I'm into music these days. It takes my mind off of things.

I've been to 3-D movies before, mostly at Six Flags Over Texas. They always seemed gimmicky to me because I could simply take the glasses off and the magic was gone. At least with two dimensional movies, the magic emanated from the screen and not from a prop. With this 3-D release of "The Nightmare Before Christmas," however, the 3-D aspect of it works. The reason for that is quite simple. With other animated movies, you are watching animation that is two-dimensional converted to three dimensions. It doesn't intuitively make any sense. But with this movie, which is made with clay figures, the animation is already 3-dimensional, it just had to be converted to two dimensions to be shown on a flat screen. Now it's being converted back to its original format. So instead of seeing Jack as a stick figure with a circular head, you see Jack as a wiry but fully-formed body with a spherical head. In addition, the way the 3-D is used here, things don't just pop out of the screen, they pop into the screen. That is, you can see a background, a mid-ground, and a foreground. It gives the illusion that you are sitting in front of an actual mini-stage where all of these clay puppets are moving around and acting on their own. It's a bizarre but thrilling feeling.

As for the movie itself, if you have not heard of "The Nightmare Before Christmas," it is based on characters and story by Tim Burton, the director of the original Batman movie and "Edward Scissorhands." He's known for his dark sense of humor and love for the macabre. His treatment of the material in "The Nightmare Before Christmas" is no different. It stars Jack Skellington as the Pumpkin King, a tall, thin skeleton with an at times menacing but usually jovial demeanor. He has an innate talent for scaring people, perfect for someone who is in charge of Halloween. However, he soon becomes tired of it and after wandering in the woods, he finds a portal to Christmastown. Enchanted by the notion of Christmas, he captures Santa Claus and takes his place. With the help of everyone in Halloweentown he assembles a completely new set of reindeer, sleigh, costume, and toys. Only his close friend Sally sees the danger of trying to be something you are not.

Aside from the innovation of stop-motion animation, the characters in this film are wonderfully complex and deep. One of the most touching moments in the film is when Jack is furiously pondering the reason behind Christmas and he hears rapping on his window. He looks outside and Sally is waving at him from below. Hanging from a rope is a bucket holding a bottle of wine and a plate of food. He looks inside, smiles and looks back down. She's gone. In that moment we see what Christmas is about. Meanwhile, Sally is sitting behind the stone wall beyond Jack's house, hands clasped around her chest, thinking of Jack and smiling. You can sense the great affection she feels for Jack.

What moves people? Many times it's words. Many times it's music. How sensical it is, then, to combine the two. "The Nightmare Before Christmas" does just that. Beautiful poetry:

Oh, somewhere deep inside of these bones
An emptiness began to grow
There's something out there, far from my home
A longing that I've never known

Is coupled with melodies of the highest caliber, as only Danny Elfman can deliver. This is the beauty of musicals. They do something that no ordinary film can do: they combine the best modes of expression in this world, music and literature, into one medium. There are naysayers; people who say musicals take them out of the experience or makes the dialogue feel forced. In some cases, this is true. It is true of any medium, however, that there are bad works. But after one takes the time to watch musicals and comes to understand them, they can be a source of many strong emotions. One just has to look for musicals that are well-written in both musical composition and dialogue. "The Nightmare Before Christmas" is one such musical.

Review - V for Vendetta

V for Vendetta was originally a graphic novel by Alan Moore. The screenplay was written by the Wachowski Brothers, household names after the Matrix Trilogy. It tells the story of a Britain similar to Nazi Germany, including the red insignia, the Hitler-esque leader, complete government control over the media, and strict militaristic control over all citizens. This Britain exists sometime in the near future, when Dell LCD panels are still around, but now even the poorest people can afford to have one in their homes. Before discussing the merits of the movie, I'd like to mention something important, in my opinion. This novel adapted to screenplay adapted to film is extremely similar if not exactly like George Orwell's 1984. I mean, there are scenes that are carbon copies of scenes that took place in 1984. (SPOILER WARNING) For example, there is a scene where we see V's scarred hands. There is a similar scene in 1984 where we read about Winston's varicose veins. Both of those scenes take place in the beginning of the story, as we are introduced to the characters. The Evey character has characteristics similar to Julia's in 1984, not to mention the obvious fact that they are the counterparts of the male leads in each story. There is a scene, quite famous in 1984, where Winston is taken in by the police and interrogated over several days. The same thing happens to Evey. The same emotional tension, the same purpose, and the same treatment. It's the same! Then, there's the supreme prime chancellor, or whatever his title is. He is always seen on a huge screen shouting at everyone. If that ain't 1984, I don't know what is. So, this movie is a blatant retread of the type of philosophies, social doctrines, moral evaluations we've seen over and over before. Does this keep the movie, or any movie, from being great? Absolutely not.

This movie is great. It's exciting, it's fast-paced, it's intelligent, it's visually stunning, it's finely acted, and creatively directed. The music is unbelievable. It's used well in several scenes, like the opening scene where the statue explodes, the scene where V catches the politician in his greenhouse, and the scene where V shows Evey his jukebox. The finale is spectacular. The director, someone I have never heard of, uses a great deal of different techniques that work well in the context of the movie. One I caught, and smilingly acknowledged, was a direct copy of a shot used in the first Matrix movie - the old knife to the head trick where the guy falls back revealing a knife in his head and the killer in the distance. Another was the effective use of dominoes. The fireworks worked well. The montages worked well. The parallelism between V's rebirth and Evey's rebirth, one out of fire, and one out of rain, were too obvious and kind of silly. But, overall, the direction worked. Hugo Weaving, who was Agent Smith in the Matrix movies, is V this time around. He plays him well. Though we never see him (or do we?), he becomes a fascinating character. Natalie Portman, too, despite a lacking British accent, plays the role straight and does her job well. I especially commend the actors who played the "Voice of London" and the Supreme Chancellor. They were delightfully evil.

This movie has restored my confidence in the Wachowski Brothers. This time, the formula worked right for them. This movie is odd, but fun to watch. Though it is an extreme depiction of government-gone-wrong, it's interesting to see the blatant correlations between the plight of that Britain and this U.S. Watch it and listen carefully - you won't be able to miss it. And don't miss V for Vendetta. It's worth the trip to the theatre.

Am I too indulgent?

Looking over my reviews, one might think I'm too generous to movies. After all, I've given glowing reviews to nearly everything I've reviewed. But I don't watch movies often. Certainly, I watch them as much as the average young American (once a week), but I'm very selective about what I watch. Unless it's not my responsibility to choose the movie, I only watch movies I KNOW will be good. So that kind of limits the crap I watch. I have seen some movies recently that I didn't want to go see. And they've all been either atrociously bad or just alright. Included on the list are Annapolis, Elizabethtown, Waiting..., Fun with Dick and Jane, and Monster-in-Law. Why don't I review them? Well, if watching the movie wasn't fun, then thinking about the movie and then writing about the movie won't be much fun either. I'll leave that to people who get paid to write reviews.

Review: Rent

I've never seen a Broadway musical. But if I were going to go see one, Rent would be it. I've known about the importance of the musical in America's history. I've never known why. Now, I know. People like to talk about the savagery, the inhumanity, and the depravity of bohemians, people living unconventional lifestyles. They imagine their lives are fruitless and cold; wasteful and pained. Their beliefs stem from ignorance. This play, based on Puccini's opera La bohème, gives a vivid and realistic view of life for a sample of Bohemians living in the slums of New York City in the 1980s. Their lives are anything but what is ascribed to them. Their lives are warm and full; fun and intelligent. Also important, Rent deals with the emergence of AIDS as a national crisis, bringing to life the shocking fact (at least at the time) that AIDS affects everyone, from night club dancers and Harvard lawyers to documentarian filmmakers and MIT-trained professors. Rent takes the stories of these bohemians and sets them to rock and roll ballads. Rent would not have become as famous as it is - indeed, would not have been made into a film - unless it was very, very good. There's no doubt that Rent is a timeless classic. The script is light and witty, but full of emotion and purpose. The songs are sometimes melodramatic, sometimes goofy, but always instant hits. All of this remains intact in the movie rendition of Rent. The question is: Is the screen version good?

Yes, it is. Chris Columbus, the director of Bicentennial Man, Home Alone, and two of the Harry Potter movies shifts gears and tries his hand at musicals. I suppose he likes challenges because if anything is a challenge to direct on film, it's musicals. So often, as was the case in the late 60's and early 70's, musicals fail to capture the magic of the stage and become massive flops. The reason is because the immediacy of the story is lost. Musical numbers tend to feel disconnected from the story because they don't seamlessly transition into one another. One minute, you're arguing vehemently, the next you're singing. When did you ever start singing in the middle of an argument? Also, plays tend to work with a minimum of background and props. When you try to keep that feeling of one background in a movie, it becomes boring. To counteract these effects, Columbus masterfully plays with different techniques including vintage camera shots, portrait-style shots, and dizzying camera tricks during dance sequences (see "La Vie Boheme" in the bar and "The Tango Maureen"). His interpretation of the musical is captivating, heart-wrenching, and extraordinary. The actors fill the screen with their presence. I especially love the character Angel played by Wilson Jermaine Heredia. A homosexual transvestite with AIDS, Angel lives life looking only to give others happiness. His cheery mannerisms and bright outlook in life lie in stark contrast to the terminal illness from which he suffers. He gives a performance for which he won a Tony award. He and the rest of the cast play their characters with passion, only occasionally suffering from the tendency to overact, a side effect of having to sing one's emotions. Yet, this film is a success on every level.

My Oscar Picks for 2006

Note: These are my picks for winners, not necessarily my favorites. I loved Philip Seymour Hoffman in Capote and I loved Brokeback Mountain.

Picture

Brokeback Mountain

Crash

Munich

Capote

Good Night, and Good Luck.

Director

Ang Lee - Brokeback Mountain

Steve Speilberg - Munich

George Clooney - Good Night, and Good Luck.

Paul Haggis - Crash

Bennett Miller - Capote

Actor

Philip Seymour Hoffman - Capote

Heath Ledger - Brokeback Mountain

Joaquin Phoenix - Walk the Line

David Strathairn - Good Night, and Good Luck.

Terrence Howard - Hustle and Flow

Heath Ledger - Brokeback Mountain

Actress

Reese Witherspoon - Walk the Line

Felicity Huffman - Transamerica

Charlize Theron - North Country

Keira Knightley - Pride and Prejudice

Judi Dench - Mrs. Henderson Presents

Supporting Actor

George Clooney - Syriana

Paul Giamatti - Cinderella Man

Jake Gyllenhaal - Brokeback Mountain

Matt Dillon - Crash

William Hurt - A History of Violence

Jake Gyllenhaal - Brokeback Mountain

Paul Giamatti - Cinderella Man

Supporting Actress

Rachel Weisz - The Constant Gardener

Michelle Williams - Brokeback Mountain

Catherine Keener - Capote

Frances McDormand - North Country

Amy Adams - Junebug

Original Screenplay

Crash

Good Night, and Good Luck.

Syriana

Match Point

The Squid and the Whale

Adapted Screenplay

Brokeback Mountain

Capote

Munich

The Constant Gardener

A History of Violence

Editing

Crash

Munich

Walk the Line

The Constant Gardener

Cinderella Man

Cinematography

Brokeback Mountain

Memoirs of a Geisha

Good Night, and Good Luck.

Batman Begins

The New World

Art Direction

Memoirs of a Geisha

King Kong

Good Night, and Good Luck.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Pride and Prejudice

Costume Design

Memoirs of a Geisha

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Pride and Prejudice

Walk the Line

Mrs. Henderson Presents

Makeup

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe

Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith

Cinderella Man

Visual Effects

King Kong

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe

War of the Worlds

Sound

King Kong

Walk the Line

War of the Worlds

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe

Memoirs of a Geisha

Sound Editing

King Kong

War of the Worlds

Memoirs of a Geisha

King Kong

War of the Worlds

Memoirs of a Geisha

Original Score

Brokeback Mountain

Memoirs of a Geisha

Munich

Pride and Prejudice

The Constant Gardener

Animated Feature

Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit

Tim Burton's Corpse Bride

Howl's Moving Castle

Original Song

In Deep - Crash

Travelin' Thru - Transamerica

It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp - Hustle and Flow

Foreign Language Picture

Paradise Now (Palestine)

Tsotsi (South Africa)

Joyeux Noel (France)

Don't Tell (Italy)

Sophie Scholl - The Final Days (Germany)

Documentary Feature

March of the Penguins

Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room

Murderball

Darwin's Nightmare

Street Fight

Update: House of Wax

I failed in a fundamental way as a writer. I intended to convey an idea. I used words to express that idea. The finished product did not convey the idea I had intended it to. That is the ultimate failure for a writer.

See, I didn't mean to give the impression that House of Wax was a great or even a good movie. It was competent and entertaining. But I focused on praising it simply because I was so impressed that it wasn't awful. I should have spent some time criticizing it for its shortcomings. Alas, some people got the wrong idea. This movie is good for a rental. You'll like it. But you won't think too much about it after it's over.

Someone might look over my review and see that I said, "good, competent horror film..." In the context of the sentence and paragraph, however, it should be clear that "good" does not mean "good movie" in the general sense. Here, it means "well-behaved," which should be obvious from the context.

Review: House of Wax

I've seen enough horror movies to be a skeptic. When House of Wax presented itself and focused on its casting of Paris Hilton, I groaned and decided to skip it in theatres. Now it's on DVD, and I'm willing to give it a try. Last night, alone at Marc's house, waiting to pick him up from work, I sat back with popcorn and Raisinets and braced myself for an incompetent stab at horror. haha, stab. To my surprise, this movie avoided nearly every cliche in the genre and turned out to be a scary, enjoyable film.

Above all, I hate characters that act irrationally. Fear is a powerful tool. It gives us the ability to do things we never thought we could do. It does NOT make us unable to do anything but accept our grisly fate. Girls are NOT only good at screaming at the top of their lungs. Bad guys, especially ones that are human, are NOT invincible or even that strong. You can at LEAST put up a fight against them. You can outsmart them. You can defeat them. This movie has some of the smartest, most attentive, most resourceful teenagers I've seen in movies lately. They stick together, for one. They fight back competently. They don't make stupid, dangerous decisions like letting a stranger help too much, intruding on private ceremonies, or leaving their friends behind. You can root for these people because they give you reason to root for them.

Best of all, the movie doesn't capitalize on tired shock moments. For example, a hand is sticking up out of the ground. You wait for the gruesome shot of the whole body accompanied by a sudden cacophony of sounds to aid in scaring you. Instead, the hand is from a mannequin. Or consider a knife pulled out as a stranger goes to open the door of your car. As soon as that door opens, he's going to run that knife into your belly inside the car - but wait, he opens the door and steps aside for you to leave...and let's you go. This movie surprised me by not stooping to the level of typical horror/slasher movies. It had a heart. Well, considering. For example, the heroine takes the time to understand one of the killers and pleads with him to not kill her. She understands him and pities his situation.

Finally, it does what any good, competent horror film should do. It answers the question we are all wondering about, how did no one know about these crazy people? And it leaves a nice, little cliffhanger, just something to wonder about after the main storyline has finished.

Review: Silence of the Lambs

I need a second perspective. I need someone to watch Silence of the Lambs and tell me that it's good. Because from what I'm seeing, it ain't. It might be that I have a biased view. While I'm watching the blasted movie, I can't stop comparing it to the book. I couldn't stop doing that with Memoirs, either. That might be why I can't enjoy movies that I've already read. Then I think to myself, what about Jurassic Park? And Sphere? Then again, there are very specific reasons why I like those movies so much, despite their lack of detail from the books.

Silence of the Lambs just seems cheesy. It's like they tried to replicate exactly some of the stuff from the book, trying to retain the same jokes, even, and failed to make it interesting in the final product. For example, in the book when Starling meets Chilton for the first time, he tries to push her around and come on to her many times, and she just pushes right back, wittily. He calls her Miss Sterling, emphasizing Miss. She responds, no, it's just Starling with an a. He criticizes the FBI's decision to send her, a girl, to meet Lecter. She says, yes, the Bureau is certainly improving. He asks to show her around Baltimore, she looks away, making him realize bluntly that she finds him distasteful. In the movie, the only time she puts him down is when he realizes she doesn't want him to be there when she talks to Lecter and complains that she should have told him that at the office instead of making him walk down to the cells with her. She smiles and says, "And deprive me of your company?" - good one, Clarice. One of my favorite parts of their ongoing rift is completely omitted from the movie. Later on when she comes back to interrogate Lecter and Chilton is much less willing to let her, in the movie, all he says is, "I'm not a turnkey here, Miss Starling, I don't come running down here at night just to let people in and out." But in the book, he continues, "I had a ticket to Holiday on Ice." And here's the good part, verbatim.

"He realized he'd said a ticket. In that instant Starling saw his life, and he knew it.
She saw his bleak refrigerator, the crumbs on the TV tray where he ate alone, the still piles his things stayed in for months until he moved them - she felt the ache of his whole yellow-smiling Sen-Sen lonesome life- and switchblade-quick she knew not to spare him, not to talk on or look away. She stared into his face, and with the smallest tilt of her head, she gave him her good looks and bored her knowledge in, speared him with it, knowing he couldn't stand for the conversation to go on."

I suppose it's hard to put thoughts like that into movies, unless it's done throughout and established as a device. But you lose so much when you can only see actions. Thoughts must be allowed! If I were to become a director, if I wanted to show someone thinking, by Job, I would do it. Otherwise, you have to make obvious gestures, actions, and camera motions. Like, when Hannibal uses the metal clip from the pen to make a pick for a lock. If we could read his thoughts, we would know that he had seen the pen laying forgotten on his cot. Instead, we get this awful, embarassing zoom in on the pen laying on the bed. It's the kind of thing that would make a slow person light up and go, Ohhhhh! and a somewhat smarter person like me groan. As if now we have this big realization that he's going to use it. A totally unnecessary shot. There are many shots like that in the movie.

I just can't get over the fact that this isn't as good as the book. The characters aren't as engaging, the killer isn't as intense or scary, he's more like a rock queen in the movie than anything else. This isn't good even as a movie. It's too deliberate and stagey. I can't believe it won 5 of its 7 Academy Award nominations. The 5 it won were the important ones, too, Best Director, Best Actor, Best Actress, and get this, Best Picture....come on! It beat out Disney's Beauty and the Beast, which, by the way, is the only animated movie to have been nominated for Best Picture. It deserved that award way more than Silence of the Lambs.

Final Note: I'd like to give a shout-out to my main man, Anthony Hopkins. He's the saving grace of this movie. Hannibal the Cannibal...you da man. In just 16 minutes, you created one of the most memorable criminals in movie history, among the likes of Tony Montana, Jules & Vincent, and Jimmy & Tommy all of whom had over an hour each of screen presence in their movies. You deserve to have the record for shortest performance ever to win an Oscar.

Review: Hostel

I felt ashamed sitting in the theater, watching Hostel. This is a purely exploitative thriller with no redeeming value whatsoever. I've never seen more sex and naked breasts in a movie theater than last night. And there was only sex and naked breasts in the first forty-five minutes! This movie is clearly made to entertain, and it nakedly shows that. No pun intended. And that is where the problem of Hostel lies. This movie has no meat on its bones, kind of like some of the poor victims in this movie. It has a premise: this torture chamber which unsuspecting victims are conned into entering. But it has no delivery; it can't! I'm thankful that the director and writer (same person, Eli Roth) knew when too much was too much. If he had shown too much violence, people would have walked out of the theater. I suspect the movie would have tanked. For example, one of the Americans is given a sleeping pill, and when he wakes up, he is strapped to a chair. We get the obligatory, "where am I? let me go!" demand/plea. We are, of course, right there with him, and we are bracing ourselves for what is going to happen next. Well, the torturer grabs a drill and starts drilling into the guy's legs. The guy hollers and begs for mercy. It's horrible. Then we see a toe being snapped between two pincers. More pleading and begging. Then..gasp! The torturer unshackles him, opens the door, and tells him he's free to leave. The guy can't believe it, but he ain't waiting around. He leaps up....and screams his lungs out. We get a beautiful shot of his ankles....they've been sliced open, so when he gets up, the skin, the muscle, the tendon spread apart. He falls to the floor. At this moment, the audience is thinking, my god, this is only the beginning of the movie, how much more of this can I endure? Roth is right there with us. He closes that scene and gives us time to breathe, by giving us a little detective story with the American guy's friend trying to find out what happened to him. When he finally shows up at the torture chamber, maybe twenty minutes later in the movie, we're ready for some more gore. But after seeing the "more," we realize that maybe we don't want to see that much more. Which is why the wonderful director that he is, he only shows us fleeting scenes of tortures. You can't really make out anything since it's so dark, but you get the gist. You see one person in a cage. You see someone else hanging from chains. You see someone being burned. But these, you only see for a second at the most because anything else and you'd want to leave. But see, that's the problem. We can only handle so much gore, so we can't spend much time in the torture chamber. And we don't. I bet only 25%-30% of the movie is actually in the torture rooms. And we're glad for that, but it makes the movie really insubstantial. In fact, it makes the very beginning of the movie embarassingly long. You get the feeling that the guy is trying to stretch out the running time of the movie by having all these seemingly unneccessary scenes in clubs, bars, and motel rooms. And just to keep you in your seat while you wade through that stuff, there's always some naked girl in the background. This movie is really short and very simple. Not nearly as intelligent or scary as Saw and Saw II. It's something you might want to rent some time, or see in Corsicana for two bucks. I wouldn't waste four.

What a Disappointment

Why is this happening at the box office? King Kong should be blowing the competition (Narnia and anything else that comes along) OUT OF THE WATER. It's clearly a better movie. There's no doubt about that. But for some reason, Narnia beat it out this past week, and this week Hostel beat it AND Narnia. It still hasn't made its budget back. This is a real bummer.

In numerical terms: on its opening weekend, Narnia made 67 million. Kong: 40 million. To date, Narnia has made 250 million. Kong: 192 million. This weekend, Hostel took 20 million. Narnia took 15. Kong: 12.

Review: The Island

I've heard bad things about The Island. Mainly, that it's not good. I forget the reasons. Especially when I think of how good this movie is. This is a good movie - a solid sci-fi action picture. In the near distant future of 2019, things haven't really changed that much. There are a few more skyscrapers and transportation is better, but the (sometimes obliviously) greedy, selfish lives we Americans live remain thankfully intact. Ewan McGregor, Sean Bean, Steve Buscemi, and Scarlett Johansson fit perfectly into their roles as, respectively, a curious, intelligent person, a misguided philanthropist and capitalist, a good-hearted, wise-cracking IT guy, and an agile, athletic, and ass-kicking counterpart to McGregor.

After reading a few reviews, I've reached a conclusion. Critics know too much. Because they've seen this type of movie done before (and done better), they have little patience for this movie. Having seen very few of these types of movies, I enjoyed it. To be sure, it's a bit shallow in the latter half of the movie, but that's okay. I cared about the characters (Johansson - so hot!) and enjoyed the action sequences. This is an exciting movie worth watching.

Review: Love Actually

Looking for love? Look no further, you've found Love Actually, a movie so full of love, you begin to wonder if love really means anything more than thinking someone else is attractive, personable, and available. Love Actually tries to squeeze several love stories into a two hour span, leaving little room to create quiet, thoughtful moments. This movie is full of movement, excitement, laughter, and revelry. Carrying along the mood is a memorable soundtrack filled to the brim with British pop classics ranging from The Beatles to Dido. If there is one thing you come away with from this movie, it's that love abounds. There's always room to love, and love always has a chance.

This isn't a great movie. It's too tame to be great. Not once did I laugh extremely hard, want to cry, get mad at any character, or even feel overtly happy when the girl got the guy. But it's really hard to get too attached to any of the characters considering they each get about fifteen to twenty minutes of screen presence to tell their story. So, perhaps it's not a terrible fault of the movie, but an unfortunate side effect of the time constraints. The experience is an enjoyable one, nonetheless. We do invest some of ourselves in the characters and are intrigued by their actions and reasons. Much of this attachment to the characters comes from the fact that they are played by actors like Liam Neeson and Hugh Grant, with whom we are familiar. If not already known, the actors are extremely likeable as is the case with Liam Neeson's character's son and Hugh Grant's love interest. And because they are likeable, our interest is piqued, and we are hooked for the duration of the movie.

Marc's List

I wasn't raised watching movies. Some families go to the theater every weekend. The only movie I remember watching in a theater as a child was The Little Rascals. It seemed like a spur of the moment decision of my parents to take my sister and me to see it in Dallas one Sunday afternoon. I vividly remember to this day the feeling of being in a dark theater seeing so many bright colors on an enormous screen, the biggest I'd seen in my life. I'd never seen anything like it. I remember being absolutely enthralled. After that, I rarely got to see movies. They were expensive to see in the theater, to rent, and to buy. That's another reason I probably read so much when I was younger. Besides The Little Rascals, the only movies I remember seeing as a child were Chuck Norris's Delta Force, and Rain Man, which I absolutely loved. Just the idea of movies excited me, even though I could never see them. I've made up for it. In the past two years, I've seen at least one movie every week, sometimes two. My DVD collection has ballooned to probably over 100. And I buy ONLY movies I really like. I don't buy movies that are just good for a while. I read up on directors, actors and actresses, writers, and film composers. I'm right now reading my first history of Hollywood. The world of film is an exciting one, and one I want to be a part of. Now as a hobby - later as....maybe something more.

Despite all I know about film, two of my cousins know more. Marc, who now works at Blockbuster, knows a lot about movies. He has a collection of over 300 by now. And it increases by 2-5 films per week. And he knows about the people in the business. But there's still someone else who knows more - his sister Martha. She's a manager at a Blockbuster, and she is a guru. Don't play Hollywood Trivial Pursuit with her. She will murder you. I managed to secure Marc's top ten movies list. To tell you how much more he knows than I do, I hadn't seen most of these movies until this year, and I still haven't seen some of these. So, I now proudly present Marc's Top Ten Movies

(In no particular order)
Crash
Equilibrium
Rounders
Tombstone
The Karate Kid
Swingers
Clerks
Memento
Pulp Fiction
Empire Strikes Back

Honorable Mention: Number 11 would be The Salton Sea

Review: Memoirs of a Geisha

Memoirs of a Geisha is a disappointment. That doesn't mean that it's a bad movie, but in comparison to the book and in comparison to our expectations for a movie produced by Steven Spielberg, directed by Rob Marshall (director of Chicago), scored by John Williams, and portrayed by Michelle Yeoh, Gong Li, Zhang Ziyi, and Ken Watanabe, it fails to attain the level of passion, romance, and mystery that we expect. This is a forgettable experience, one of the least impressive of the aforementioned people's many wonderful works.

Memoirs of a Geisha, originally a best-selling novel by Harvard and Columbia graduate Arthur Golden, tells the story of a young Japanese girl in the early 1900's who was sold by her family to an okiya, a business that takes in women and trains them to be female entertainers (not prostitutes). There, the girl Sayuri learns to become a geisha and eventually becomes the greatest and most famous geisha in the region. Her childhood at the okiya and her rise to prominence make up the first two thirds of the movie. The final third recounts the effect of World War II on her life and the lives of those similar to her. It also finishes the thread of the story involving her long-time crush on the chairman of an electric company played by Ken Watanabe.

What follows is a laundry list of the faults in this movie. First, the romance falls flat. Are we really to believe that based on one moment together, lasting not more than ten minutes, when she was a little girl, an exponentially greater relationship develops without any further intimate contact between the parties? The few times we see them talk to each other don't belie any underlying feelings. Dialogue is a real weakness in this movie. It is further exacerbated by the fact that these people are speaking in English. This is one of my pet peeves in movies. Why must people who obviously do not speak English, speak English in an accent of someone from their respective countries? In this movie, we have Japanese people speaking English in Japanese accents. Why? Why don't they just speak Japanese and let us read the subtitles? Lucas probably agrees with me. In 1980, The Empires Strikes Back starred a Hutt by the name of Jabba. Jabba only spoke Huttese, and, therefore, spoke Huttese in the movie. Subtitles were graciously provided. Because of his language, Jabba became much more convincing as a character. He is an actual being with a language of his own that we can't understand. Language provides realism. When everyone speaks English, there's no sense of culture. Everyone becomes American. This becomes acutely noticeable in Memoirs of a Geisha where everyone speaks English. I suppose because their accents make their English sometimes unrecognizable, we can now qualify them as Japanese instead of American. But this ploy doesn't work. We become aware that these are Asian actors doing their best to sound as American as possible. They carefully enunciate every word, making sure they don't embarass themselves by pronouncing a word incorrectly. It becomes a distraction. Just let them speak in Japanese and we'll be glad to read the subtitles.

Second, this story has a purpose. It isn't clear, though, unless you've read the book. And though I think a higher percentage of the people who are going to watch this movie have read the book than is the case with many other movies, a large percentage of moviegoers have still not read the book. As such, many might think that this movie has no point since it isn't explicitly stated. This movie is a biography and a history. It's the biography of Sayuri, set against a historically accurate background. We are here to learn about the life of an actual geisha in the early 1900's in a fun way. Where this movie goes wrong is in its delivery. There is so much to tell about Sayuri's personal life, that we get little opportunity to see much of anything else, including the history and culture of Japan and its geishas. In this important aspect, the history of Japan's geishas, the film fails.

Unfortunately, this movie is not worth seeing. Please read the book, instead. It's an excellent book.

Review: King Kong

Peter Jackson's beloved classic is being remade by none other than the director of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, Peter Jackson himself. Along with him are James Newton Howard creating a masterful and fitting musical score and a special effects team that knows how to do its job. We all know, to some extent, the tragic tale of King Kong, but no one could expect that his story could be made into such an unforgettable film. Seeing this movie is more than an evening of fun. It's a thrilling, moving, and engrossing experience that will leave a lasting impression. This is one of my favorite movies of all time.

Jack Black as the zealous movie director provides welcome comic relief, but he is also capable of delivering solemn lines, especially the famous final words of the film. Brody does a satisfactory job as playwright Jack Driscoll and possible romantic interest for the real shining star of this movie, Ann Darrow, played by Naomi Watts.

I am so ashamed for ever despising Naomi Watts as an actress. She is absolutely luminous and I now admire her for her acting abilities. She along with King Kong, played by Andy Serkis, the actor who played Gollum in Lord of the Rings, give the movie it's lasting presence in film history. They are the heroes of this movie. They provide the heart and purpose of the movie, and lift it high above any ordinary action movie. Because of them, this movie succeeds on every level. Because of them, the action has a purpose. Nothing in this movie is mindless drivel used to entertain empty minds. It gives an important message about love, courage, forgiveness, and humanity. I don't want to give anything away because you need to watch this movie without knowing what will happen. Because despite the fact that you know what will happen, how it happens is what is important. And in the end, you very well might feel wonderfully moved by this amazing tale, this amazing woman, and this amazing creature.

Update: The Chronicles of Narnia

I'm sure Disney execs and the entire movie business are breathing sighs of relief. With the first week receipts of Narnia exceeding expectations, the end of the year looks to end the scare brought by low receipts for the first half of the year. The estimated 67 million weekend for Narnia is second only to LOTR: Return of the King.

Review: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe

When I was a child, my favorite book was Watership Down. If you haven't read it by now, it's probably too late for you. See, as a child, I had imagination. And it ran wild. Just like the rabbits of Watership Down. My imagination gave me the ability to experience everything I had ever dreamt of, all my fantasies and all my adventures. It made them grand, larger than life. Books, Watership Down, in particular, funneled my creativity into a cogent force, enabling me to see worlds I could never imagine on my own. Remembering the cherished story, I picked up Watership Down again last year. I reread it. I had become a more experienced reader since my fourth grade year, and it took me all of a few hours to complete this once epic journey. And the magic, sadly, was gone. The words no longer held the same instrinsic beauty. The personalities, I no longer believed in. The mythology was stale. The war of the rabbits, replete with strategy, battles, spies, treason, and sword-clashing action seemed now a much simpler and quicker war than I had remembered. This is not the fault of the book. Since then, I've picked up more and more of my treasured children's stories, The Mouse and the Motorcycle by Beverly Cleary, Redwall by Brian Jacques, Roald Dahl's books, Louis Sachar's books, and even C.S. Lewis's masterpiece The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe, only to have them, one by one, fail to inspire in me the same sweet delight that kept me reading late into the nights, through recesses, through classes, and, God forgive me, through Masses.

The final nail was hammered into the coffin of my childhood fantasies tonight. After a week of growing and insurmountable anticipation, I got to see one of the most fantastic and, to quote from the trailers, "beloved" stories of our times. The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe opened today after much talk about the Christian undertones of the movie. From what I saw, it is easy to draw correlations between the story and Christianity. However, it is just as easy to not see any correlations. The themes under question are broad enough that they don't necessarily have to be compared to any Christian story. Lewis himself said that there is no specific correlation between the two, but that is doubtful considering his personal dealings with Christianity. It shouldn't matter, in either case, because the story stands up on its own. Whether you look for interpretations or not is up to you.

On the technical side of things, everything has been lavishly done. Director Andrew Adamson, seasoned now that he's made Shrek 1 and 2, creates a huge and breathtaking landscape the likes of which haven't been seen since Lord of the Rings. The special effects are incredible, especially Aslan the lion who, at times, looked almost completely real. I look forward to the day when CGI looks real, not realistic. Even the best CGI of today still doesn't consistently attain a look of reality. This film's special effects team, despite having to create over 60 different species of animals, still does an impressive job of making the audience believe. The story is exactly how I remembered it, so I think they made sure to stay true to the original story. Violence is kept to a minimum to ensure that the PG rating is appropriate. You never see blood, and what little killing there is, is only implied and never seen. This makes the film better because the true audience, the children, will appreciate it more, having to not worry about being frightened. Like Harry Potter, this movie does a wonderful job of creating its world. But again, I'm not a part of it. I'm merely a spectator. I wish I could be in it. I wish I could play the game. Now I realize why I missed the point of Harry Potter. I saw the movies, I appreciated them, but I could not feel them. It wasn't the director's fault; it wasn't J.K. Rowling's fault; it's my fault. I'm too old, too cynical, and too dim-witted to let myself go. To let myself be like a child again.

How I envy the children who sit wide-eyed in the darkness of the theatre, absorbing this magical tale and seeing themselves kneeling before Aslan, battling against the evil White Witch, and becoming kings and queens of the land of Narnia. They will enjoy this film much more than I ever can.

Review: The Constant Gardener

I went to LSC's showing of The Constant Gardener with Thomas. When it had come out in theatres, it hadn't caught my attention. It's too bad I waited so long to see it. It is a movie definitely worth seeing. With inventive camerawork and true mastery of the art, director Meirelles, who also directed City of God, weaves a coherent fabric from differently colored situations. In a mere two hours, he creates a powerful relationship between two people, a suspenseful quest for a secret truth, and a documentary of the lives of terribly destitute people. His camera does some incredible things to establish these situations permanently in our minds. For example, one small scene has Fienne's using a webcam to view his wife pregnant in the tub. Now, this is becoming more common in films, but how he uses it, I've never seen done. The camera sits outside the bathroom. We see the blurry people in the bathroom but not too well. Our only view is through the laptop showing the video on the right corner of the screen. This is blurry, too, telling us that we must know what's going on, but not too much because this is a special, private moment between people very much in love. This film's strength does not only lie in the direction, however. A strong cast including Ralph Fiennes, Rachel Weisz, the wonderful Shakesperean actor Pete Postlethwaite, and Bend It Like Beckham's Archie Panjabi enhance the overall effectiveness of the movie's many messages. Notice, for example, the way Fienne's friend utters the word "cheap" towards the end of the movie. You can almost taste his complete disgust and bitter remorse for what he, they, and we all do to others. Also notice the way Weisz plays the part of the potentially unfaithful wife and philanthropic saint simultaneously during the beginning when Fiennes does not know the truth. She knows what she is, but she does a balancing act so we don't know. Fiennes himself plays the role of Weisz's husband convincingly. We feel his anger, his jealousy, his pain, his remorse, and his sorrow. We are with him at the end of the movie when he does what we all know must be done. What this movie tries to do, the messages it tries to get across, it all gets across to us because of Mierelles' superb direction and the convicing performances of these actors.

Review: The Aviator

The Aviator is a big Hollywood production in the classical sense of the word. Just as the big pictures of the Golden Era of Hollywood like The Jazz Singer, Some Like It Hot, and Ocean's Eleven showed off their stars and starlets like Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra, Rita Hayworth, Katharine Hepburn, Errol Flynn, and Ava Gardner, this movie has the look and feel of one of those shows of the past, including a long list of today's stars: Leo DiCaprio, Jude Law, Cate Blanchett, Kate Beckinsale, John C. Reilly, Alec Baldwin, Ian Holm, and even Gwen Stefani. And, of course, in the tradition of great Hollywood directors such as Lewis Milestone, Victor Fleming, Howard Hawks, and Alfred Hitchcock, Martin Scorsese directs.

The Aviator is a biopic about the eccentric Hollywood Golden Boy Howard Hughes. At one point in his life the richest man in the world, Hughes was always fascinated with aviation and film. After inheriting a Houston-based tool company from his father and a phobia of germs from his mother that would become debilitating later on in life, he decided to make the grandest war epic in history. He flew out to Hollywood and proceeded in making the most expensive movie ever made, Hell's Angels. This is just one of the several daring and some would say stupid ventures in his life. This film attempts to chronicle these adventures while also showing the internal struggles he went through in his life. This film is very long, two hours and forty-five minutes long. But it flies by, as you press on, hoping for..I don't know what - lasting happiness for this high-spirited but wounded soul.

What can I say? This movie deserves every Academy Award it won (5 out of 11 nominations). Cate Blanchett is excellent in her role. Leo DiCaprio is also superb. This movie is exciting and moving. I can't believe that the last two movies I've seen are among the greatest movies in their respective categories that I've seen. Of biopics, only Monster and Amadeus beat out The Aviator. And Monster is, perhaps, the best film I've ever seen.

Review: Minority Report

Minority Report has an all-star cast and crew including director Steven Spielberg, editor Michael Kahn, producer Jan de Bont, composer John Williams, and actors Tom Cruise, Colin Farrell, and Steve Harris. Tom Cruise plays a cop in the year 2050 or so in Washington, D.C. Crime has been virtually wiped out because of a new program in D.C. called Pre-Crime. Three psychics suspended in water predict what future murders are going to occur. The only jobs the cops have is to get there in time to prevent the murder. You can see where the public would need complete reassurance that the psychics are completely correct in telling the future. Otherwise, you might get innocent people going to jail. Well, technically, everyone in jail is innocent because they never actually committed a crime. But they thought about committing the crime, which is the same as committing it. But the public has every reassurance that the Pre-Cogs (the three psychics) get it right all the time. What they don't know is that the Pre-Cogs don't always agree. One might see the future different than the other two. In that case, the police ignore the Minority Report. And then, the unthinkable happens. Tom Cruise is accused of killing someone. He, of course, would never kill anyone, so he goes on the run to try to find out who set him up. But did someone set him up? Or is he actually going to be a killer? These questions are not easily answered, and the ensuing adventure is thrilling. This is an exciting movie that builds up insurmountable tension and delivers a poignant, thoughtful, and impactful ending.

The vision of the future is another delightful part of this movie. The technological innovations make sense and seem like things that we could eventually use and live with. For example, Lexus cars are still around, just with a sleeker design. Computer monitors are still around, just flatter than ever, and no more mouse. Cell phones are still around, just small enough that they fit discretely around your ear. The future here is plausible, yet fascinating.

Minority Report is an incredible sci-fi film. It's smart, gripping, and edgy. It's perfectly directed, orchestrated, acted, and written. This is one of the best science fiction films I've seen yet.

Update: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

More as the weekend develops, but for now it seems that Goblet of Fire has tied for first place in movies to reach 100 million dollars at the box office the fastest. In three days it has reached a little over 100 million dollars. The other movies at the top of that list are Star Wars Episode 3, Spiderman, and Matrix Reloaded.

Review: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Harry Potter mania is once again hitting the U.S. After a sagging box office trend, studio execs are hoping that the heavy hitters that usually come around the holiday season, this time including Harry Potter, Chronicles of Narnia, King Kong, and Memoirs of a Geisha, will buoy the total receipts for the year. And I suspect that Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire will deliver in a big way. It's a crowd-pleaser in every sense of the word. It has romance, action, adventure, terror, suspense, and, best of all, magic. It lacks better than perfunctory dialogue, which fortunately doesn't detract much from the movie, and something far more important than that - the ability to make us part of the Potter universe.

I enjoyed reading the Harry Potter books. (I've read the first four.) But I could never connect with the characters or with the story on more than a superficial level. The whole thing felt rushed despite going on for several hundred pages. Even the lengthy Goblet of Fire takes only a few hours to read. Nevertheless, I enjoy the series. The movies feel the same way to me. I like them a lot. I think they are masterfully done. But, once again, they feel rushed, like one can never really be a part of that world. This most recent Potter movie gave me that feeling the most acutely. I understand what I should be feeling, but I don't feel it deep inside of me. Whenever a certain tragic death occurs in the movie, for example, I should feel sorrowful. And I can't because I can't ever feel anything for these characters, so I put on a sad face in the darkness of the theatre to oblige the director. When I see the dragons flying, the wizards casting spells, and the underwater world being explored, I know I should be enraptured, enchanted, and totally engrossed by them, but I just can't be. Still, it's a load of fun to see it. I just can't feel it in my core the way I felt it with Star Wars, Jurassic Park, and The Matrix. Those movies truly expected you to dive into their respective universes and become a part of them. With Harry Potter, I'm a spectator not a participant.

General reaction after the show: Jose, Hugo, and Hector liked it. Daneaya, like always, tried to convince herself that she liked it more than she really did. She's such an optimist; I love that. Andrea, I could tell, didn't like it, though she politely nodded agreement with the others. After I commented that it was a bit too long, she said, "I know!" - nakedly exposing her opinon.

Katie Leung plays Harry's love interest in the movie. In this movie, there are a lot more black, Indian, and Asian people than I remembered in the previous ones.

Update: Aayla Secura

This explains a little about the origin of the beautiful Twi'Lek Jedi Knight called Aayla Secura.

The character was originally created for the Expanded Universe by artist Jan Duursema and writer John Ostrander, but Jon Foster's striking cover art for issue # 33 of the ongoing Star Wars title from Dark Horse Comics (see below) made a definite impression on writer/director George Lucas, and the character was placed in the film.

During the Clone Wars, which were portrayed in the Cartoon Newtork series, "The Clone Wars" which won an Emmy, Aayla Secura became a general in charge of a garrison of clone troopers. The second picture below shows her injured after the Battle of Hypori, where we first encounter the sinister General Grievous. Ki-Adi Mundi, a Cerean and one of the wisest Jedi Knights, looks on with concern.

Sarah Silverman (1970-)

Note: Much of this post is taken from an article by The New Yorker and an article on Roger Ebert's website.

The following is a haphazard and disorganized collection of Sarah Silverman's jokes and anecdotes. If you don't know, Sarah Silverman is a Jewish comedienne (though she hates being called that: "People are always introducing me as 'Sarah Silverman, Jewish comedienne.' I HATE that! I wish people would see me for who I really am- I'm white!"). Her innocent look, perfect grammar and diction, and sometimes sing-song delivery is in direct contrast to much of her material, which deals with controversial topics such as racism, abortion, rape, body hair, scatology, and child abuse, among others; her comedy-acts are sometimes performed from a caricatured or stereotypical Jewish-American perspective.

She is a great comedian. She has a new movie, Jesus is Magic, out in theatres. Though I haven't seen it yet, I will, and I suggest you do, too.

“I’m just sensitive,” she says onstage. “My skin is paper thin. People don’t realize it, because I’m sassy and I’m brassy, but I just— I see these care commercials with these little African kids with the giant bellies and the flies, and these are one- and two-year-old babies, nine months pregnant, and it breaks my heart in two.” As the audience reacts, she presses on. “It breaks my heart in half. And I don’t give money, because”—out of the side of her mouth—“I don’t want them to spend it on drugs, but I give. You know I give. I, this past summer, sent fifteen really fun cowl-neck sweaters to this village in Africa, in really fun colors—expecting nothing, by the way—and they culled their money together, whatever they call it, and bought a stamp and sent me a postcard thanking me, and it said thank you and that they had enough sweaters for every single member of the village to get one and that they were delicious.”

"I wear this St. Christopher medal sometimes because—I’m Jewish, but my boyfriend is Catholic—it was cute the way he gave it to me. He said if it doesn’t burn through my skin it will protect me." (Sarah Silverman's long-time boyfriend is Jimmy Kimmel, the comedian and host of Jimmy Kimmel Live on ABC.)

In another of her bits, she invokes the events of September 11th: “They were devastating. They were beyond devastating. I don’t want to say especially for these people, or especially for these people, but especially for me, because it happened to be the same exact day that I found out that the soy chai latte was, like, nine hundred calories. I had been drinking them every day. You hear soy, you think healthy. And it’s a lie."

“I was raped by a doctor,” she says. “Which is so bittersweet for a Jewish girl.”

Silverman takes Lenny Bruce’s “Jews killed Christ” joke (“I did it. My family. . . . Not only did we kill Christ, we’re going to kill him when he comes back” a step further: “Everybody blames the Jews for killing Christ,” Silverman says. “And then the Jews try to pass it off on the Romans. I’m one of the few people that believe it was the blacks.”(The joke exposes not the ancient perfidy of any particular race but the absurdity of blaming entire races for anything.)

"I'm going out with a guy who's half-black, who's totally going to break my heart......Oh my God. I can't believe I said that. I'm so negative. He's half-white."

A few years ago, Silverman was invited to tell some jokes on “Late Night with Conan O’Brien.” In one of them, she describes trying to get out of jury duty by writing something disqualifyingly biased on the form. A friend suggests she write “I hate Chinks,” and, worried that people will think she’s racist, she writes, “I love Chinks.” Before the taping, she says, she was told that she could say “spic” or “Jew” but not “Chink.” She decided to say it anyway. “Jew would be funny if I wasn’t Jewish,” she says. “But it has to be offensive, it can’t be a self-deprecating thing. Then I thought, If you’re saying I can say spic, I’m going to say Chink, because it’s a funnier-sounding word. You know? It’s got the ‘ch-’ and the ‘k-.’ I needed the most offensive word I could use on television.”

The network aired the joke uncensored, and Guy Aoki, of the Media Action Network for Asian Americans, an advocacy group, protested until the network apologized. Then Silverman and Aoki had a debate on Bill Maher’s “Politically Incorrect.” Aoki, who lives in an apartment in Glendale littered with videotapes of programs he has monitored, arrived with, as he says, “two pages of sound bites” and a crowd of supporters. Silverman got frustrated—“It’s not a racist joke,” she said; “it’s a joke about racism”—and called Aoki a “douche bag.”

“It’s stupid to ever, ever defend your material,” she says now. “If you don’t like it, then you know what? It’s no good. It’s subjective.”

Silverman has since turned the complaint into grist for her stand-up act, saying that the experience helped teach her the important lesson that racism is bad: “And I mean bad, like in that black way.”

“Jesus Is Magic,” which comes out this month, contains Silverman’s most authentic response to the accusation of racism. She says: "I got in trouble for saying the word “Chink” on a talk show, a network talk show. It was in the context of a joke. Obviously. That’d be weird. That’d be a really bad career choice if it wasn’t. But, nevertheless, the president of an Asian-American watchdog group out here in Los Angeles, his name is Guy Aoki, and he was up in arms about it and he put my name in the papers calling me a racist, and it hurt. As a Jew—as a member of the Jewish community—I was really concerned that we were losing control of the media. Right? What kind of a world do we live in where a totally cute white girl can’t say “Chink” on network television? It’s like the fifties. It’s scary. There are only two Asian people that I know that I have any problem with, at all. One is, uh, Guy Aoki. The other is my friend Steve, who actually went pee-pee in my Coke. He’s all, ‘Me Chinese, me play joke.’ Uh, if you have to explain it, Steve, it’s not funny."

A desired post-9/11 advertisement for a major airline? "American Airlines: First Through the Towers."

Other times the approach is a little more straightforward, as in her song that mixes simplistic romantic and racist clichés with an irresistibly bubble-gummy pop tune:

I love you more than bears love honey
I love you more than Jews love money
I love you more than Asians are good at math
I love you even if it's not hip,
I love you more than black people don't tip...

"The best time to have a baby is when you're a black teenager."

When she treats abortion as if it were the most off-hand thing in the world, she makes you see the absurdity and superficiality of "pro-life" depictions of The Kinds Of Women Who Seek Abortions, as if an abortion itself was an enjoyable activity worth compulsively or spontaneously craving: "I was going to get an abortion the other day. I totally wanted an abortion — and it turns out I was just thirsty."

"I want to get an abortion, but my boyfriend and I are having trouble conceiving."

She tells a story about her "favorite niece" (the one she loves more than "the other one"), who told her she learned in school that Hitler killed 60 million Jews. Sarah corrects her -- It was six million -- and her niece says dismissively, "Yeah, whatever. What's the difference?" Aunt Sarah delivers a stern rebuke: "I'll tell you the difference, young lady: 60 million would be unforgivable!" What does that mean? (If you think about it, it's basically the same joke as George C. Scott's estimates of "acceptable casualties" after a nuclear war in "Dr. Strangelove.")

...begins hosting an insufferably cheery and condescending morning show "for the ladies" in which they announce such guests as "Dr. Goodsex... who will show you how to make your husband climax faster so he can get on with his busy day!"

* "When God gives you AIDS, make lemon-AIDS!"

Top 12 things Yoda says in the bedroom

1. "Ahhh! Yoda's little friend you seek!"
2. "Urm. Put a shield on my saber I must."
3. "Feel the force!"
4. "Foreplay, cuddling - a Jedi craves not these things."
5. "Down here, I am. Find a ladder, I must!"
6. "Do me or do me not - there is no try."
7. "Early must I rise. Leave now you must!"
8. "You know, this would be a lot more fun without Frank Oz's hand up my....."
9. "Happens to every guy sometimes this does."
10. "When 900 years old you get, Viagra you need too, hmmmmm?"
11. "Ow, ow, OW! On my ear you are!"
12. "Who's your Jedi master? WHO'S your Jedi Master?"

Lifted unceremoniously from: http://spaces.msn.com/members/caralousie54/

The Hottest Jedi Knight

Aayla Secura (c.42 BBY - 19 BBY)

Biography: Aayla was a female Twi'lek who was always strong with the Force. She was born and raised on Ryloth, the home planet of the Twi'Lek race.When she was training as a Padawan, her master was Quinlan Vos, a Kiffar who had recently lost his memories but maintained his Jedi ways.

Aayla was an empathic and highly intelligent Jedi with impressive fighting skills and a master of Form IV Lightsaber Combat, called Ataru. However, she never sat on the Jedi High Council.

When the Clone Wars began in the year 22 BBY, Aayla became a general in charge of a garrison of clone troopers. She was hospitalized after the attack by General Grievous during the Battle of Hypori, but eventually returned to the battlefield.

In the year 19 BBY, as the end of the Clone Wars drew near, Chancellor Palpatine gave the order to exterminate all the Jedi, the final step in his elaborate plan to assume complete control over the Republic. Aayla Secura, a Jedi Knight, was gunned down by her troops on the lush planet of Felucia. The following shot from Revenge of the Sith captures the moment before her death.

In Revenge of the Sith and Attack of the Clones, Aayla Secura is played by Amy Allen, a Production Assistant for several blockbuster movies, including Elektra, The Hunted, Gangs of New York, Pearl Harbor, and A.I.

Note: Amy Allen is the one on the left.

Note: Is it just me or does the Twi'Lek race produce especially hot females? Jabba the Hutt employed Twi'Lek dancers, two beautiful Twi'Lek masseurs also occupy the Star Wars universe, and now Secura...I just looked it up and, indeed, Twi'Lek females are known for their exceptional beauty.

The Most Beautiful Actress Alive

By many accounts, including Richard Roeper's and mine, Zhang Ziyi is the most beautiful actress in Hollywood. She is beautiful in every sense of the word. I speak not at all of her personality, intelligence, or even acting ability. I am merely glorfying the beauty her genetic predisposition has given her. Her beauty isn't her fault. She had nothing to do with it. If anyone, I guess God granted it to her. It is only chance, though, that we are able to see her beauty in several Hollywood pictures, including "Rush Hour 2", "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon", "Hero", "House of Flying Daggers", and the hotly anticipated "Memoirs of a Geisha." I thank God for that. So, without further ado, I present to you....Zhang Ziyi, the most beautiful actress in Hollywood.

Zhang Ziyi (1979-)

And for those naysayers out there, who say "Oh, but anyone can look hot with tons of make-up and lighting and wardrobe and photoshop" I give you the following picture at a conference where she was sitting just like everyone else. She looks just as perfect. Maybe even more so.

Review: Saw and Saw II

I saw "Saw" today. I saw "Saw II", too.

I haven't been this disturbed since I saw "The Ring."

I'm not a big fan of horror movies. I've seen very few, and I've seen even fewer that I've liked. The reason is that I usually can't find anything worth seeing in them. They are as bad as the many action movies or teen drama movies that plague movie theatres. Cheap thrills, gratuitous violence, nudity, and profanity are the rewards you reap from horror flicks. Occasionally, there comes an intelligent horror movie. They become cult classics. "The Shining", "The Exorcist", "Nosferatu", "Psycho", "Texas Chainsaw Massacre", more recently, "The Silence of the Lambs", "The Sixth Sense", and "The Ring" are just some of the great horror movies in history.

"Saw" and "Saw II" do not join them in the annals of great cinema history, but they almost make the list. They are immensely disturbing and hard to watch. Both stretch the human mind to its limit; I believe if I were put through what these people were put through, I would lose my sanity. My mind would split into a million pieces and the shards would pierce through whatever semblance of reality I could sense with my body. I would fall into a state of eternal shock, unable to escape from the doorless, windowless room of my empty head. I can't muster words to recount the emotional stress these movies caused me. They rely not on cheap camera angles that suddenly reveal scary images, instead they rely on a psychological terror that is much more penetrating and lasting. This is the secret to the success of a horror movie, of any movie, in the long run. It must affect us for us to care about it. These movies make us care. They make us think about our lives. Deeply.

A quick summary of these movies: The original "Saw" creates a serial killer nicknamed "Jigsaw" who puts his victims through "games" in which they must choose to live or die. Living usually requires doing something they really don't want to do. For example, one poor soul wakes up with a metal device around his head. (This example is from Saw II, but it gives you the gist of the game.) He is locked inside of a room with no immediately noticeable way of getting out. A TV turns on suddenly. A clown puppet appears and informs him that the device will close around his head, smashing it into a pulp in a certain amount of time. The only way to escape from that grisly death is to find the key to unlock the device. The twisted part is that the key is located behind his eye. He must dig out his eye to get behind it to get the key. And this is the gist of these "Saw" movies. Yes, it involves people that we should root for, hope that escape from the sick games they are playing. That's pretty much it for plot. These movies are truly perverse, twisted, and brutally violent. Horror enthusiasts should love them. Others might think they are fun to watch. As for me, I was saddened and disturbed by these movies. After leaving "Saw II", I could not stop shaking my head. I suppose I was trying to remove the images I had just seen from my head. But they are still in there. And they will stay there. If you are sensitive to violence, I strongly urge you to NOT watch these movies.

We are sick. Why are we fascinated by abominations? We look away, but peek back. We delight in misery - our misery and the misery of others. Violence, hatred, and despicable acts of cruelty foment feelings of raw energy, emotion, and excitement. Despicable! That is what we are. When we glorify these things, we renege on our promise to encourage, hope for, and save life. This is your only life. The clock is ticking, and you don't know when time will run out. Live and be at peace.

Best Five Moments in Star Wars History

WARNING!!! Spoilers ahead!!!

Top five moments

We asked a Jedi Council of Star Wars fans for favorite moments. The top five, and how to cue them on DVD:

1. Darth Vader tells Luke Skywalker, 'No, I am your father!'

Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back, Chapter 46; 1 hour, 51 minutes

"Nobody saw that coming," says Philip Wise, 28, of Southlake, Texas, who operates the Rebel Scum Web site (www.rebelscum.com).

2. Obi-Wan and Anakin cross lightsabers

Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, Chapter 38; 1 hour, 47 minutes, 30 seconds

This clash between master and pupil on the volcanic planet of Mustafar "is edge-of-your-seat saber choreography at its best," says Anne Neumann, 30, of Austin.

3. Han Solo is frozen in carbonite

The Empire Strikes Back, Chapter 40; 1 hour, 35 minutes

" With the dad revelation, this sets up the first feature-length cliffhanger in movie history," says Scott Chitwood, 32, of Houston, a founder of TheForce.net, a Star Wars news Web site.

4. The Imperial Star Destroyer flies over

Episode IV: A New Hope, Chapter 3; 2 minutes, 11 seconds

"The beginning of a lifelong obsession started here," Wise says.

5. Saving Luke's life, Vader is redeemed

Episode IV: A New Hope, Chapter 3; 2 minutes, 11 seconds

"It is the reason we sit through 12 hours of Star Wars," says Dave Myatt, 32, of Vancouver, B.C.

Review: Flightplan

Jodie Foster is one of my favorite actresses. She's smart, talented, and sexy. A bit about her life:

She was born in El Pueblo de Nuestra Señora la Reina de los Angeles de la Porciuncula, Los Angeles for short, L.A. for shorter and educated at Le Lycée Français de Los Angeles, an exclusive prep school which follows French curriculum of study, allowing students to study for the French general Baccalauréat. She went on to earn a B.A. in literature from Yale, graduating in 1985. At 14, she received an Academy Award nomination for Best Supporting Actress for her role as a teen prostitute in Scorsese's Taxi Driver. She's fluent in French and has performed in French films. She has won two Academy Awards for Best Actress, one for The Accused (1988) and one, of course, for The Silence of the Lambs (1991). She is a director and producer, having founded a production company called Egg Pictures.

I first saw Jodie Foster in Contact at the University of Kansas in the summer of my seventh grade year. I was taking a Psychology course, and Foster's portrayal of a brilliant scientist who deeply questions matters of physics, mathematics, religion, the universe, politics, and extra-terrestrial life is sufficiently superb to write a lengthy paper over her psychological disposition. Next, I saw her in Silence of the Lambs, in which she once again showed that she is an excellent actress. Finally, I saw her in Anna and the King, which I actually bought. She is just so very beautiful!

Finally, Panic Room, which was pretty good. Of course, she did a flawless job as a cunning but scared mother.

Now she is starring in Flightplan, a suspenseful whodunnit thriller where Foster is once again trapped in a very small space. It's amazing how so much can be done with such a modest premise. In Panic Room, she was trapped in her house with no possible way of escaping. Now she is trapped on a plane, with no possible way of escaping. The setup is this: she and her daughter are the first to get on a plane. They are transporting her husband's coffin to New York. He had died tragically a week before, jumping (Foster believes falling) off of a building. She goes to sleep next to her daughter on the plane and wakes up to find her gone. She goes around looking for her and can't find her. That's the setup. Now she has to find her. And that is what the rest of the movie is about. It sounds like it couldn't be a movie, but it is. And a good one, too. It's all about psychology. Brilliant stuff. And the way Foster handles the character shows how incredibly talented she is. This is a fun movie. I suggest seeing it. All that being said, I do have one bone to pick with the movie. But if you haven't seen it, then I can't discuss it because it will give away important plot points.

A New Era in Cinema

Does anyone else feel it? I can feel it in my bones. It creeps into my body. It's a disturbing feeling. Quietly, slowly, and subtly, Americans are losing their interest in film. Can anyone tell me what were the major showings are this week? No? What about last week? I'll tell you what they are: Last week: The Fog, Elizabethtown, Domino. This week: Doom, Dreamer, North Country, Stay. Do you know anything about these movies? No? Neither do I. Wait, yes I do. I know that they are throwaway movies that are made solely to entertain and to make money. (Except for North Country which is a disappointing Oscar contender.)

The worst thing about this is that movies that are actually worthwhile are movies that are even less well known. In these past two or three weeks: Capote, Good Night and Good Luck, Proof, The Greatest Game Ever Played. These are the movies that should be lighting up the marquee. Instead, they gather small audiences in small venues, while the "greater" pictures play at bigger venues to smaller and smaller audiences. We need a revolution in cinema. Who will make it happen?

Review: Murderball and Wedding Crashers

So I saw two movies this weekend, Murderball and Wedding Crashers. Chances are you've heard of Wedding Crashers, starring Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson. Chances are you haven't heard of Murderball, starring no well-known actors. In fact, it doesn't star actors at all. The stars of this movie are quadriplegics in wheelchairs. But these are no ordinary wheel chairs - they are wheelchairs from hell. They are made specially for this rugby sport modified for wheelchaired people. But it's every bit as intense and violent as classic rugby. That's why the chair is made from a really tough metal. Despite being tough, after a while on the court, it gets to look really banged up and dirty, giving it an authentic look.

This movie is more about people than anything else. It's about their relationships to their girlfriends, their wives, their sons, their families, their friends, and their enemies. After all, it was made by MTV, the people who thrive on stories about relationships. To that extent, it is a far better story than any other MTV media I've seen including The Real World:Cancun, some of the reality shows they have on TV, and The Perfect Score. It is NOT as good, however, as some other movies released by MTV such as Better Luck Tomorrow and the Original Kings of Comedy. This is a well-shot, thoughtful movie that sheds light on the lives of quadriplegics in a complete manner. It delves into all aspects of this new life - dealing with the past, dealing with the future, sexual functionality (can you get it up?), getting dressed, using the bathroom, driving, dancing, drinking, parties, sports, typing, working, LIFE. This is a great sports movie, a great drama, and a great documentary.

So what about Wedding Crashers? This is a standard funny movie. You don't need to be bothered with the plot. It's there to create situations where Vaughn and Wilson can be funny. One sentence should be enough: Vaughn and Wilson crash weddings to hook up with chicks until one day Wilson finds a girl he loves and Vaughn is dragged along with him to the girl's family's home where Wilson tries everything he can to get this girl to love him back. Along the way we meet some wacky characters including a gay character that I hope people would take offense to, Christopher Walken as the girl's dad, and Jane Seymour looking insanely hot and for an unknown reason, being really hot for Wilson. This is pretty standard fare, and I laughed a lot, got my money's worth, and left chuckling, so the movie works. It ain't great, though.

It's sad to note that the theatre was PACKED for Wedding Crashers, but for the far superior movie, Murderball, there were at most fifteen people in the entire theatre.

Review: The Interpreter

This movie is one of the best in the genre. It doesn't give us cliches, instead it engages our minds. As Ebert so shrewdly pointed out, the movie doesn't rely on cheap shock value moments or a shoddy romance side story. It fully develops and deals with much deeper emotional trauma. It also covers a lot of other ground, including politics, crime-solving and deduction, human rights, literature, music, and art. It's being touted as an intelligent thriller, and that it is. It's a taut thriller, too, except for the last scene which is quite unnecessary as the story as already reached its conclusion before it. It's a really poorly constructed scene that was obviously meant for the average Joes who don't get the real ending. If you go see this movie, the movie ends after the last shot in the montage of the United Nations building. You might as well walk out of the movie before the next scene begins. It ain't worth watching.

This movie can, above anything else, make you rethink your beliefs, your morals, your way of living. I believe that this movie has a good message that we all need to hear at one point in our lives, in one way or another.

I don't know why I failed to see good actresses before. I've always hated Gwyneth Paltrow and Nicole Kidman. I didn't think they were good actresses. But then I saw Gwyneth Paltrow in Proof and was blown away. Now I've seen Kidman in The Interpreter, and I'm blown away. How could I not have seen this before? I did the same thing with Charlize Theron before Monster. I guess now I need to recant on my beliefs of a person I still loathe as an actress: Naomi Watts.

It's unsettling to note that all these actresses have something in common: None of them are American.

Editor's Note: Nicole Kidman IS actually American, though she was raised in Australia since she was 3 years old.
Though at the beginning of her career, Gwyneth Paltrow was widely thought to be a British actress (including by me), she's actually from L.A.
Charlize Theron was born and raised in South Africa, and Naomi Watts was born and raised in England.

Review: Before Sunset

Have you heard of this movie: Before Sunset? You probably haven't.
It opened in limited release in 2004, playing at only 200 theaters on its opening weekend.

For a long time, I felt frustrated that so many worthwhile films were being ignored by most Americans. But I've become accustomed to seeing these wonderful movies playing to small audiences. In recent history, I can easily recall movies like Proof, The Saddest Music in the World, Bubba Ho-tep, Pieces of April, Frida, and Howl's Moving Castle. These movies are intelligent, moving, cinematically inventive works of art. And they are relegated to small openings in less than mainstream theaters because the media moguls don't trust the public to pay to see movies that make them think.

I've resigned myself to that.
But this movie can change all that for you.

Before Sunset, starring well-known actor Ethan Hawke (Training Day, Taking Lives, Gattaca) and French actress Julie Delpy (King Lear, An American Werewolf in Paris, MacArthur Park), is a delicious stroll through the park - literally. The movie takes place in Paris, France nine years after the two main characters, Jesse and Celine, spent the most romantic night of their lives together in Vienna. They meet for the first time since then and decide to go to a cafe to grab a cup of coffee before Jesse has to get back on a plane to go back to the U.S. This is essentially all you need to know. The next hour and a half is dedicated to a continual, uninterrupted conversation between the two characters. That's right, NO time passes between scenes, it is all done in real time. This is part of what gives the movie its charm. The most important part, though, is the way Hawke and Delpy become Jesse and Celine. It is extremely difficult to make an hour and a half conversation that is completely scripted sound completely spontaneous. But, somehow, Hawke and Delpy make it work. At no time, does the audience feel like they are being read a script. This is acting at its best.

You might be thinking, why on earth would anyone want to watch an hour long conversation? That's gotta be boring. And it would be. Except the script, written by Hawke, Delpy, and Linklater, the director, is an intelligent, subtle, involving dialogue that stirs emotions and thoughts in our minds that, otherwise, we might not ever think. Has your brain ever felt like it was at rest? Free from the consuming frenzy of life? Peaceful inside? That quotation from this movie is exactly how this movie will make you feel. It might seem like boredom at first, but it quickly becomes very soulful.

Highly Anticipated Movies

I've been a big fan of Philip Seymour Hoffman since his role as "Mattress Man" in Punchdrunk Love. I remember him vaguely from Scent of a Woman and Twister, but I didn't truly appreciate his talent until his more recent movies like Spike Lee's brilliant 25th Hour and Red Dragon. Punchdrunk Love is one of my favorite romantic comedies, and a part of that I can attribute to Hoffman's performance.

I'm sure you can tell where I'm going with this. I read my first Truman Capote story in high school, and I remember thinking it was clever. Now that Capote is coming to the big screen, I'm anxious to see Hoffman's portrayal of this odd little man. I have a suspicion that this could be Hoffman's best performance to date, even worthy of an Oscar nomination.

Review: Wallace and GroMIT

Saturday night was a night of firsts. It was the night I first experienced the freezing torrential rains of New England, it was the first time I visited the famous Pourhouse Bar, and it was the first time I went to Fenway Theatre, close to the legendary home of the Boston Red Sox, Fenway Park.

The Pourhouse isn't as smoky as many bars, perhaps because it's filled with college students that know better than to smoke. I know there were students from Tufts, BU, BC, Northeastern, and MIT there. Probably there were also students from Berklee, Emerson, and Harvard. So the six of us, Amerigo and Mael, his friend from Brown, Thomas, Alberto, Jesus, and I squeezed into a booth and ordered up burgers and fries. The funny thing is, everyone around us is drinking, and when the waitress comes up and asks us what we want, Thomas starts. "Just water, please." Mael, "Water, too." Amerigo, "Water." "Water." "Yeah, water, too." till everyone's ordered a glass of water. The waitress looks like she wants to roll her eyes, but she smiles and goes off to serve people who will actually run up a bill. So what did our bill come to? For six people - 16.43. Combined, I kid you not.

So after Pourhouse, Thomas is the only one who shared my admiration for Wallace and Gromit, so we went off to see the new movie and everyone else went home. The sky was still falling all around us, so we had to keep sloshing through puddles on the uneven sidewalks. It was bad enough getting the bottoms of my jeans soaked, but while waiting at the bus stop to go to Fenway, a bum walked up to me and Thomas and asked Thomas if he could have his coat. Thomas, of course, refused, but the guy persisted. He kept talking about how nice of a coat it was, and how he would like to have a coat like that. The guy was perfectly harmless, but everytime he spoke, spittle flew inbetween the toothless gaps in his mouth and out of his lips and onto my arm. Disgusting.

But it was all well worth it, for the opportunity to see a childhood memory reanimated. Gobless whoever showed us those three cartoons at the Catholic school when we were kids. Wallace and Gromit are a perfectly balanced duo. Gromit is wise, and, thus, knows how to fix things whenever Wallace creates messes. Wallace is intelligent. His inventions are crazy, yes, but also practical and useful. One of the greatest things about these characters is that they are claymation. That is, they are animated using clay models. This gives them a realism unparalleled by any CGI available to date. Even drawings don't give the same feeling that these tangible beings do.

Saturday night was long, I don't think we got in until one in the morning. But when you fill your stomach for less money than you planned and stoke the ashes of dimmed but fond memories, the small things like cold weather and unpleasant people become less important. I realize now that Saturday was not so much a night of firsts as it was a night of remembrance. I remembered the delight I experienced after watching Wallace and Gromit as a kid, and that delight is priceless.